"The most scandalous effect of pollution by motorised individual transport is the killing and maiming of people on a warlike scale. Presumably it will remain a puzzle to later generations how a society could come to terms with a technology which demands human sacrifice in such vast numbers." *
March 5, 1981 - E. Y. "Yip" Harburg (2)
Hollywood composer Yip Harburg was famous for "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," but his life ended on the streets of Los Angeles. On hand for the points were J. Batterson, T. Curran, Morpheus, D. Perry, and S. Greenstein.
October 30, 1985 - Kirby "Sky King" Grant (3) - Fire Ants
He played a wealthy rancher who flew everywhere on "Sky King," a 50's TV staple, but it was a car that would be his undoing. On the day the space shuttle Challenger was due to take off, Kirby Grant drove to Cape Canaveral to watch the launch. He didn't make it, killed in a traffic accident on Florida State Road 50 near Titusville. Fire Ants, who probably grew up dreaming she was Penny, was there for the sudden solo.January 17, 1989 - Lloyd Bentsen, Sr. (1) - Morituri te Salutamus
Millionaire rancher and father of the 1988 Democratic Vice Presidential candidate, Lloyd Bentsen was killed in an auto accident in Texas at the age of 95. It was the first car crash of the year for rookie squad Morituri te Salutamus, but not the last.
December 25, 1989 - Billy Martin (4) - Blunt Instrument, Deathwatch, Morituri te Salutamus
On the same Christmas Day Nicolae Ceausescu was executed in Romania, baseball's Billy Martin was taking a hand in his own demise, riding with an intoxicated driver on icy roads near his home in Binghamton, New York. Three gamesters had kept on eye on Billy's self-destructive lifestyle and collected the points when Billy crashed. For Morituri te Salutamus, it was the second smash-up of 1989.May 7, 1990 - Carl "Spitz" Channell (6) - The Legion of Doom
Spitz Channell had financed a liberally lavish lifestyle by skimming Conservative contributions to fund a private war, but got caught with his manicured hand in the till. He was the first person to plead guilty in the Iran-Contra affair. But it was all in the past and springtime in Washington as he left his office and walked to his car on the Ides of March. Before he could hop in, however, he was run over on 8th St. SE by a driver who had lost control of a pesky vehicle. Pedestrian Channell died of the injuries several weeks later. There to show that you don't need to drive to be an auto fatality were the Game's most astute Washington insiders, The Legion of Doom. (Our thanks to Lincoln's Brain for hunting down the details.)
April 10, 1992 - Sam Kinison (7)
Comedian Sam Kinison lived in the fast lane but ironically died clean and sober on his own side of the road when another (very drunk) driver pulled out to pass on a two-lane highway and hit Sam's car head-on. It wasn't how they envisioned it, but four lists -- George & Marion Kirby, Rig R. Mortis, Col. Mustard and Teen Angel -- accepted the points anyway.
November 7, 1992 - Alexander Dubcek (3) - El Chileno, Nostradahmer
One-time Czech leader Alexander Dubcek survived a coup, imprisonment and illness, but not his chauffeur's going off-road with the limo. El Chileno and rookie Nostradahmer, gamesters on two different continents, made the call. "I choose basically for one reason: interesting people," noted El Chileno. "Dubcek was not only interesting, but had a tragic touch to him, right out of Greek tragedy."April 13, 1993 - Wallace Stegner (2)
Wallace Stegner was a Pulitzer Prize-winning author and environmentalist carried on three cultured lists. In Santa Fe, New Mexico, to make a speech, Stegner instead was involved in an auto accident. He died of his injuries two weeks after the crash. Frank Merriwell, Gamesters of Triskelion and Tim Ormortis displayed both literary and sudden style.
Julio Gallo, brother of Ernest and co-patriarch of the world's largest winery, died when he drove his Jeep (no, it wasn't a Thunderbird) off a winding, hilltop road on his son's ranch in San Joaquin County and plunged down a 35-foot embankment. Seven lovers of robust value-priced wines cracked open a bottle of the best -- Alibi, El Chileno, 40 Whacks, Frozen Stiff, Lady Die, Necrophiliac Pimp and C. Stanley.
September 2, 1996 - Lee Gannon (7) - Ghostwriter
Composer Lee Gannon was already ill, and that was what had caught the eye of Ghostwriter. But it was an auto accident that killed Gannon suddenly, and gave Ghostie a 6.2 QPA for the moment, the highest ever seen in the Game. (He finished the year with a 6.0.)
December 18, 1999 - Rex Allen (3) - J. Eby
The Arizona Cowboy, Rex Allen, was the last of the singing cowboys, an actor whose rich, warm narrations of 1960's Disney wildlife films, 1973's "Charlotte's Web" and "The Incredible Journey" were as comfortable as the pajamas worn by viewers. In 1999, his career intersected with that of Game legend J. Eby who soloed when Rex ended up under a Cadillac driven by a friend in his own driveway in Tucson.
December 19, 1999 - Desmond Llewelyn (2)
Desmond Llewelyn, who played 'Q' in the James Bond films, died in a head-on car crash near the town of Firle in East Sussex, as he was returning home alone from a book signing. Frozen Stiff led the way, and was joined by nine others including the Game's James Bond expert Mac.
February 21, 2000 - Joe Wolfson (5) - Lives in Jeopardy, Silver Tapps
"Dr. 360," a legendary bodyboarder who was the first to do a complete belly spin on a wave (sitting up!), was diagnosed with cancer in 1998, took sleeping pills and paddled out to sea to die. But he was rescued, found new reason to live, and battled his cancer in heroic fashion. Until his Volkswagen Jetta veered off the Marina Freeway, plunged over an embankment and hit a eucalyptus tree. Drenched in irony, Lives in Jeopardy and Silver Tapps were there to score five.
January 22, 2002 - Jack Shea (1) - ACME Undertakers
Jack Shea won two gold medals in speed skating at the 1932 Lake Placid Olympics, watched his son Jim compete in the 1964 Innsbruck games, and was looking forward to seeing his grandson, Jim Jr., compete in the 2002 Salt Lake City games. But in Lake Placid, New York, a drunk driver in a van slid out of control and crashed head-on into Shea's car and ended his dream.
April 22, 2002 - Linda Lovelace (5) - Moorebids
Linda Boreman, who gained fame as the star of "Deep Throat" (a film that cost $30,000 to make, and earned more than $600 million) under the name Linda Lovelace, and later became an anti-pornography crusader, was injured in Colorado on April 3rd, 2002, when her Kia Sportage SUV veered off the highway, hit a mile-marker post, then spun and rolled twice, throwing her from the vehicle. She was not wearing a seat belt. She died of her injuries on April 22nd. Present for the solo were the Moorebids.
And yes, gamesters also predicted the automotive passings of Princess Grace and Princess Diana.
For those who drive fast for a living, car crashes make more sense, but gamesters are still faced with the challenge of predicting which driver in which year. It's not as easy as it seems.
July 12, 1971 · Pedro Rodriguez (8) · J. Basal, Dr. Death, R. Schooler
At the beginning of the 1971 racing season, Pedro Rodriguez of the BRM racing team crashed and died during a race in Germany. His driving had raised eyebrows, and three gamesters -- J. Basal, Dr. Death and R. Schooler -- scored eight points each. Rodriquez was then replaced on the BRM team by his co-driver, Jo Siffert.October 25, 1971 - Jo Siffert (7) - Dr. Death
Jo Siffert finished the 1971 season intact. However, an extra race was added to honor Jackie Stewart. On the fifteenth lap at Brands Hatch, Siffert's car went into a turn, began to disintegrate and he was killed in the ensuing crash. Amazingly, Dr. Death had listed Siffert as well as Rodriquez on his 1971 list. He is still the only gamester to black flag two race drivers in a single year, although Morituri te Salutamus would call two car crashes in 1989.
July 14, 1979 - Billy McCrary (7) - Ghostwriter, P. & E. Hepner
Discovered by a photographer from Life magazine, Billy and Benny McCrary were the world's heaviest twins, at 743 and 723 pounds with 84 inch waists. They went for show biz with their new notoriety and appeared in Vegas where they played trumpets and told jokes with 400-pound go-go dancers. Then they made a splash on the sporting scene as tag team wrestlers and mini-cycle riders doing daredevil stunts in cowboy outfits. Sensing too much of a good thing, Ghostwriter and the Hepners each collected seven points when Billy died of injuries after a mini-cycle stunt gone wrong in Niagara Falls. In mourning, Benny erected the world's largest granite gravestone (yet another superlative), 13 feet wide, three tons, etched with their beloved mini-cycles, on view today in Hendersonville, North Carolina.August 1, 1980 · Patrick Depailler (7) · The Catalan Caller
France's greatest gamester, The Catalan Caller, correctly predicted the sudden passing of Formula One driver Patrick Depailler, who blew through the barrier that separates this world from the next while in training for the German Gran Prix.
May 8, 1982 · Gilles Villenueve (7) · C. Stanley
French-Canadian Formula One driver Gilles Villenueve won six Gran Prix races at the wheel of his Ferrari but scored his last seven points for goggle-eyed C. Stanley with a 170 mph crash during a qualifying run for the Belgian Gran Prix in Zolder, Belgium.
May 1, 1994 · Ayrton Senna (7) · Harris Tweed
Sitting on the sofa with her husband, Sweeney Todd, watching the San Marino Gran Prix on television, Harris Tweed saw her hubby's favorite driver, three-time world Formula One champ Ayrton Senna, go into the wall at 186 mph. After several minutes of stunned silence, he turned to her and said, "You had him, didn't you." Indeed she did. And this was only the first seven-point solo high speed crash of her career. The next crash was even more amazing, and, more incredible still, was followed by another astounding close call of an automotive nature.February 18, 2001 - Dale Earnhardt (6)
Dale Earnhardt died on the final turn of the final lap of the 2001 Daytona 500. A seven-time winner of NASCAR championships, Earnhardt was driving his No. 3 black Chevrolet in a pack of cars that was chasing the eventual race winner, his teammate Michael Waltrip. As Earnhardt tried to block Sterling Marlin from gaining ground on Waltrip and his son, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Marlin tapped into Earnhardt's car. Earnhardt's car slid slightly, then bounced into a car driven by Ken Schrader. Both cars abruptly changed course and slammed into a wall. Earnhardt's car hit the wall virtually head-on. Earnhardt was six sudden points for Coffin Counter, The Dada Sisters, W. Dockum and We Killed McKinley.
On to Out of the Blue. No, wait, I'd rather walk back to Greatest Hits.
* Otto Ulrich, "The pedestrian town as an environmentally tolerable alternative to motorised travel" in The Greening of Urban Transport (John Wiley & Sons Ltd., 1997) edited by Rodney Tolley